Expectation Goals

* Ephesians 5:22-33
* How do you respond to this passage? If you automatically default to the other person and how they’re doing their job, you missed the point. Draw the circle around yourself. “They’re not doing their part” is the beginning of problems.
3 Types of Faulty Expectations
1. Unrealistic expectations
* These come from people.
* Matthew 19:3-6
* The two have become one. When your spouse does something to irritate you, you don’t get to just pin it all on them—you’re one with them.
* No two marriages are exactly alike. We’re all different people. Which makes us all bring expectations and ideas into our marriages.
* Genesis 2:18
* When you try to change your spouse into someone they’re not, then you’re denying that God made them for you.
* Maybe there’s some things we need to change about what we expect in marriage.
* You ain’t married to your mama. Quit trying to be. Look at the person that God put in front of you in your marriage and learn to appreciate them for who God made them to be.
* Some things, we do need to change. But we need to be careful about letting those things divide us from our spouse.
* Matthew 19:3-6 again
2. Unspoken Expectations
* “They should know this, and I shouldn’t have to tell them.” Tell them anyway.
* Psalm 39:3
* If you’ve gotta make it obvious, do it. That doesn’t excuse them from learning though.
* Unspoken expectations are a trap
* Proverbs 12:18
* Say it because you don’t want them to fail
* 1 Thessalonians 5:11
3. Misplaced Expectations
* Some things can only come from God.
* You can’t be a source of life unless you have a source of life.
* Matthew 22:36-40
* I’d you’re expecting your spouse to be this for you, you’ve put something into the place of #1 that should be in #2.
* If you’re putting your spouse #1, you’re committing to be for them what only God can be. You don’t want a spouse that doesn’t put God first. That’s a train wreck.
Examine the expectations you have and ask “God, is this You speaking or is this me? Do I need to change my expectations?”
- Hebrews 4:12-13
- How do you think God sees your marriage?
- He’s the one you have to give an account to
- None of us will be perfect. But what can you do to change it?
- What’s one thing you can do this week to show love to your wife or husband, without wanting anything in return, just because it pleases the Lord? All of us can do one thing.
- You may think this is impossible. Without Jesus, it is impossible. You need a personal relationship with Jesus before anything else here.